Sunday, June 3, 2007

Relationship Baggage

Gears are just baggage like the shit people go into relationships with. ie, kids, addictions, diseases. There are baggage like a deadweight girlfriend that drains the life out of you. Here are some suggestions to get rid of that baggage in your life:

1. Let go of the past: gears of so then and definitely not now!

2. Discover old relationship patterns: Before you can attract and create your ideal bike, you need to take inventory of how you behave in races. Why? If you’re past bikes have not worked out, you are at least fifty percent responsible and probably grossly overweight. If you don't clearly see what you did (or did not do) to win that race, you are powerless to experience anything else but failure.

3. Look at all aspects of your racing behaviour, from what you do when you first called to the line to what you do in a long, long, long race. Do you cry, weep, or puke. If not, why not, and if so, why? Also want to take inventory of what you believe about racing and the opposite sex.

4. Discover and Celebrate Needs: To have a successful relationship with your bike, you need to recognize, honor and fulfill your own needs. There is a direct correlation between the quality of your relationships, your ability to recognize and meet your needs, and how much money you spend on bike part. The more you spend the closer you come to meeting your needs.

What's more, your needs are THE criteria for choosing a perfect bike. Be sure to choose a partner who will satisfy your long-term (not your short-term) needs as well. Girl friend who do not ride and race are dead weight. Choosing a partner to meet short-term needs guarantees the perfect relationship with your perfect bike will not last.

Example of a long-term need: a life partner who is a hard-core racer (primary concern) and has a compatible view on life (secondary concern).

Example of a short-term need: someone to pass you bottles in the feed zone (primary concern) someone to help you feel less lonely right now (shut your face).

5. Establish Strong Boundaries: The 5th step toward attracting and creating your ideal relationship is developing and honouring your boundaries or limits. To know and honour your limits builds your self-esteem both on and off the bike, while earning the respect of others racers and slackers alike.

Why do you need to have boundaries in a loving relationship between you and your bike, and your and your partner? Event the best of partners will inevitably do some things that will not be ok with you. If you say nothing, your partner will not know or pay attention to how his or her actions negatively affect your training and racing. That will be the start of a good relationship gone badly. The solution is simple. Get ride of the girl friend and keep the bike.

Boundaries also greatly enhance your ability to select the right partner however. The wrong partner will cross your boundaries fairly early into the relationship. If you are aware, the wrong partner can be quickly recognized.

Example of a boundaries foliation: requesting that you cut the grass or wash dishes that have piled up over the last month rather then RIDE YOUR BIKE!

Bottom Line:

Define Your Ideal RelationshipAnother important step is to define your ideal relationship and partner. This is the one step that everyone seems to know about; however, the popular version of this exercise will only serve to keep you out of a relationship and lonely, OFF THE BIKE, as it will have you create a fantasy.

To define your true ideal bike and partner, ask yourself not what you want but what you need. What can you not live without in a relationship and on your bike? What do you need to thrive (XTR, Ti, XO)? What do you need from a partner day to day (bike wash…)?

To purge fantasy from your definition, ask yourself what you want from another that you are not willing to do or be yourself.

Your Relationship Coach,
Dave ;)

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